Reading the same book over and over and over
Young children thrive on repetition. They like books that feel familiar and predictable. This is common, normal, and healthy. Still, it can be hard to indulge this request if the book has absolutely no grown-up appeal.
The misplaced book
Chances are, whatever book your child desperately wants to find at any given moment cannot be found. After turning the house upside down, it may never be found. And sometimes that's a good thing.
Santa censoring
Children are stronger than we realize. They won't bat an eye about the Gingerbread Man getting eaten and the wolf being axed open by the hunter to retrieve Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother. Still, there are times when you find yourself in the middle of a book and wondering if you should do some on-the-fly editing.
Disturbing illustrations you can't unsee
From pencil-thin necks to noseless children (and beyond), you really have to wonder what goes on inside the heads of some children's book illustrators.
Mental fact checking
You don't really need to point out to your child that humans and dinosaurs never co-existed. Right? It's a dream sequence. Surely that's obvious. Right? Can't. Stop. Myself. From. Making. Casual. Observation. About. Scientific. Accuracy.
Skipping sentences to get through the book faster
We have all done this, especially when we are exhausted.
Squinting to read in the dim light of the bedroom
Dark or tiny font on a dark background? Surely this can't be the first book ever published by this company. Was it the editor's first day?
Autopilot reading
Have you ever driven a few miles while thinking about something and then realized you have no recollection of the experience? The same thing can happen while you are reading a book out loud and thinking about the grocery list or that overdue bill. The human brain is amazing, and the good news is that the kids probably won't even notice.
Silently cursing the author for tongue twisting sentences
Unifinished rhymes, extra syllables, amateurish alliteration. My only consolation is knowing that the authors of these books will probably have to do a public reading and stumble over their own words someday.
Interruptions from the audience
Nothing shows that your child is absorbed in the book you are reading like a random observation about something completely unrelated to the subject. "Jenny has a new dog." "I put a quarter into the DVD player." "Stop putting peaches in my lunches, okay?"
Child chooses longest book on the shelf at bedtime
Never fails.
